Blog

Today’s devotion is based on Week 1 of “Tough Love”: Sets boundaries! (WATCH HERE)

---

 

Perhaps one of the toughest things to do is to say “No” to someone you love and care about.  Perhaps some situations are easy.  To the teenager who wants to go to a party with lots of drinking and drugs, “No.  No you can’t.”  To a job that will pay less and move you to a part of the country you have no desire to live?  “No, sorry I will not accept that offer.”  

But often times saying “No” is hard.

To the toddler having a fit in the middle of a busy store.  Do you give in or say “No”?

To the impulse to stop at Sonic and buy a milkshake in the middle of a diet plan?  Do you say “No” to yourself?

Sometimes the implications are minor for not saying “No.”  However sometimes the in ability to say “No” somethings prevents us from saying “Yes” to important things.

Here’s Jesus teaching in Matthew 6:

Matthew 6:31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

It is hard to say “No” to worry because it’s hard to say “No” to all the material, worldly things we focus on, spend our time on, and expend our finances on.  It is hard to say “Yes” to the things that matter most and focus on our eternity because the tangible, the urgent, and the world around us clamor for our attention.

It’s hard to say “No” to things in our ability to buy to say “Yes” to giving generously to the Lord’s work.

It’s hard to say “No” to the extra sleep to say “Yes” to regular time in the morning with the Word of God.

It’s hard to say, “No” to a job that pays more to say “Yes” to the importance of being in worship and Bible study on a weekly basis.

It’s hard to say, “No,” to the agenda that we had planned to say “Yes” to a friend that needs a listening ear and godly counsel.

It just is.

It’s why Jesus had to remind us that the eternal things matter more and much longer than the temporal.  We can’t take material things with us to heaven, but we can take our faith in the Lord Jesus.  We won’t get to the end of our life and wish we had worked more, but rather we wish we would have spent more time in prayer, in worship, and in the Word with the people and family we love.  

Fortunately we have a Savior who perfectly said, “No” to the things that he had to in order to say “Yes” to the mission he was on to “seek and to save the lost” of which I am one.  What a gift of God’s grace that in essence Jesus said, “Yes” to me in the process of saying “No” to all that would have kept him from securing my salvation.

Now that’s tough love.  Love that prioritizes the eternal over the temporal and does all to ensure us that we are loved, forgiven, gifted children of God.

Don’t worry.  Jesus has promised that when we say “Yes” to the eternal, kingdom of God things, the things we have to say “No” to will pale and fade in the background because chances are they are all temporal anyway.

 

Apply: What is one thing you need to say “No” to in order to say “Yes” to something that advances the kingdom of God in your own life or the life of another?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for knowing perfectly what to say “No” and “Yes” to.  We thank you for putting our salvation first and doing ALL that was necessary to secure our trip from the temporal to the eternal.  AMEN>

Today’s devotion is based on Week 1 of “Tough Love”: Sets boundaries! (WATCH HERE)

---

Steven Covey is known for his books on productivity and ensuring that a person does things that don’t just keep a person busy, but effective.  His book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is one that has been a best seller for years.  In this book, he outlines four quadrants of productivity and how to determine what we should be doing, but what often gets a majority of our time.  In reverse order…

Quadrant 4: Not Important/Not Urgent

Quadrant 3: Not Important/Urgent

Quadrant 2: Important/Not Urgent

Quadrant 1: Important/Urgent

Covey’s advice for these quadrants is this:

Quadrant 4: “Quadrant of waste; avoid escaping here (spending time here)”

Quadrant 3: “Try to reject or avoid these things.  Delegate to someone else.”

Quadrant 2: Plan to get done, allow time for these.

Quadrant 1: Quadrant of necessity…Do first or else!

In order to spend time on Quadrant 1 priorities, one has to say no to activities that fall into the other three quadrants. 

How do you determine what is in your Quadrant 1? Quadrant 1 are those things which help to advance your mission, your purpose. Other things, while they might be important or benefit others might have to be let go.

Jesus understood this well.  His purpose?

As he said to Zacchaeus, Luke 10:9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

Jesus’ mission was to bring the good news to the hearts of people so they would believe he was the Savior and secure their salvation.

So…at times he had to say no to other good things he was able to do.  

After the day of teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum, healing Simon’s mother-in-law, and healing many more and driving out demons, the next morning he did this:

Luke 4:42 At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them. 43 But he said, “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” 44 And he kept on preaching in the synagogues of Judea.

Healing people was important and one might say “urgent.”  But it was secondary to proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God to more people.

What if Jesus spent all his time healing people and driving out demons?  He could have said, “Healing people and taking care of their physical needs is important.  I just didn’t get time to proclaim the good news to others because there were so many sick people that needed my attention.”

He could have.  But tough love prioritizes the mission.  So Jesus set a boundary to ensure the most important and urgent thing got done: Proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God.

Perhaps there are opportunities for us to do the same.

 

Apply: Evaluate the things you do in your day/week.  Is there opportunity to prioritize the bringing good news to the people around you?  Your family?  Your friends? Coworkers?  Maybe you have to say “No” to something to be part of Jesus’ mission.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank your for doing so many important things, but especially prioritizing the spread of the good news to the hearts of people…including me.  AMEN.

Today’s devotion is based on Week 1 of “Tough Love”: Sets boundaries! (WATCH HERE)

---

As I write this, there are nominees from President Trump that are working their way through Senate hearings and confirmation process to head large departments of the executive branch.  In these hearings senators are given opportunity to ask questions or make statements to the candidate and the candidate is given (usually) an opportunity to respond.  What is trying to be determined is both does the person have the ability to lead the department and do they have the credibility to be trusted in that role.

Both ability and credibility are important to put confidence in someone to lead.

If a person has the abilities to carry out a role, but no credibility, you don’t want them in that role.

If a person has the credibility, but not the abilities, they too shouldn’t be in the role.

You want both.

When Jesus was in Capernaum, people brought to him people who were demon possessed.  With Jesus having the ultimate power over Satan and his fallen angels (as he proved earlier in Luke 4 by defeating Satan’s temptations in the desert), the demons had to listen to what Jesus said.

Jesus had both the ability and credibility to drive out the demons.

Luke 4:41 Moreover, demons came out of many people, shouting, “You are the Son of God!” But he rebuked them and would not allow them to speak, because they knew he was the Messiah.

What is interesting about this encounter is this.  The demons KNEW who Jesus was.  They knew his power and position were greater than theirs and they had to listen and obey his command.  They were ready and able to tell those around that Jesus was the Messiah.

But Jesus didn’t want their witness.

Why?

They weren’t credible.

They had the ability to say, “Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah.” But as demons and associated with the Father of Lies, they had no credibility.  If Jesus allowed them to be a witness for him, eventually people, who understood Jesus as one who taught truth with authority, would believe the demons had equal credibility to Jesus.

Of course they didn’t and they don’t.

So Jesus told them to not speak.

He did not want a witness from one who was able, but not credible.

Why?
Because tough love prioritizes the truth and the truth from a credible source.

Jesus wanted people to understand, believe and live the truth.  The truth wasn’t just spoken words but was backed by the credible source of truth: Jesus.

John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 

This is why it is so important first for us as followers of Jesus to be people of high integrity and credibility.  Our witness must be supported by our walk.  If you proclaimed faith in Jesus, yet intentionally were cheating, lying, and stealing from your employer, that witness would be unclear.  The truth from a source without credibility damages the truth.

This is why when we determine whom we allow to speak into our heart the word of God and build up our faith, we want them to be lovers of God’s truth…all of it.  We want to, the best we can on this side of heaven, have people in our lives who are willing to stand with the truth, even when it’s tough and not popular.

Why? Because tough love loves someone and the truth enough to never compromise it or its source.

 

Apply: Consider your ability and credibility to witness for Jesus.  While we are all imperfect, is there an area of your life that, with God’s help, you could work to improve so it gives a more clear witness to the truth?  Ask God to show it to you and help you become better at it!

Prayer: Lord, Jesus thank you for your tough love that passionately stands for the truth.  Help us to be both a clear and credible witness for your truth.  AMEN.

Today’s devotion is based on Week 1 of “Tough Love”: Sets boundaries! (WATCH HERE)

---

Love is tough when you are tired.

After a long day of work…it’s hard to help your spouse clean the house.

After a long day of caring for the children…it’s hard to be patient with one another.

After a long day of trying to figure out care for your aging parents…it’s hard to tend to your children’s needs.

The thought may go through our minds, “Go away.  I’m tired.”

Love is tough when you are tired.  But sometimes the situation needs your love, even when it’s tough.

Jesus had spent the day teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.  He was welcomed into Peter’s home and was asked to help Peter’s mother-in-law who had a high fever.  Without hesitation, this is what happened:

Luke 4:38 Jesus left the synagogue and went to the home of Simon. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was suffering from a high fever, and they asked Jesus to help her. 39 So he bent over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up at once and began to wait on them.

Perhaps what is equally amazing is how complete the healing was.  If you have been sick, you know that it is not easy…even after you start feeling better…to get up and entertain a house full of guests.  But Peter’s mother-in-law did just that.  She wanted to love her guests.

If that wasn’t enough, here’s what happened next:

Luke 4:40 At sunset, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them. 

A long day got longer.

Jesus did not shy away from those that were sick.  He healed them.  How many were there?  We don’t know, but at the end of a long day, Jesus had to be tired.

But he didn’t stop loving the people around him…even though it was tough.

Why?  How do we love when it’s tough?

Like Jesus, we realize tough love prioritizes others.

Tough love realizes that at the heart of love is selflessness, not selfishness.

Tough love is empowered by Jesus who loved us, even when he didn’t have to.  Jesus prioritized us to receive his love.

But how can we show love when we are tired?  How can we prioritize loving others when we feel we need time for ourselves?

Because tough love also is willing to set boundaries to ensure your heart, soul and body are cared for.  The next morning, Jesus did this:

Luke 4:42 At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place.

To restore his mind, soul and body, Jesus would often take time to be with his heavenly Father in prayer, spiritual rest, and restoration.

Why? Because he knew that to love well he had to also prioritize time to be refreshed.  Caring for himself enabled him to better love others.

Even when it was tough and tiring.

His example gives us reason to do the same.  Prioritize others.  Love when it’s tough and when you are tired…but also remember it’s ok to care for yourself, for in doing so, you will be better able to love others.

 

Apply: What is one thing you can do today to be recharged and refreshed so you can be ready to love others even if you are tired?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for always prioritizing us with your love.  As you took time to care for yourself, help us to set a healthy boundary that ensures our body, soul and mind are recharged so we can better love others around us with your love.  AMEN

Today’s devotion is based on Week 1 of “Tough Love”: Sets boundaries! (WATCH HERE)

---

Love is tough.

It’s just hard to love.  It is.

For many different reasons.

• It’s not always easy to know what love looks like.
• I am naturally more selfish than loving.
• Definitions and messages of love from our culture are confusing.
• Love gets defined by movies and Hollywood.
• Love sometimes means saying “no” to someone or something.

Love is tough.  It just is.

With Valentine’s Day at the center of the month of February, our message and devotion series is going to explore different aspects of love what makes it tough as well as what tough love looks like when we properly apply it.

But let’s start where love starts: In the heart of God.

Love can only and must be defined by God…no one else.  Only when we embrace and embody the love of God can we properly love others.  Culture skews love.  Human love is flawed because of sin and a perfect example can’t be found.

Except in God’s love.

Here are three Scriptures that help define what love is…from God’s perspective and application.

1. Love is sacrificial, defined by the sacrifice Jesus made for us…even though we didn’t earn or deserve it.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1. Love is selfless, not selfish.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1. Love models the love Christ has shown to us.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

This is the only love that can fill us and enable us to love others even when it’s tough.  When we see Jesus loving us when we make it difficult, or giving us guidance and boundaries even when we don’t want them, we understand that love is tough and we need tough love.

The ability to do both in our lives rests firmly in the love that God has shown to us.

 

Apply: What makes love tough for you?  

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me, even when it’s tough and for showing tough love when I need it most.  Both are a gift from you to bless me and enable me to be a blessing to others.  AMEN.